The Problem With Abortion

Exploring why abortion should be kept legal, but not seen as a form of female empowerment.

Abortion is a complex topic, and one that is heavily discussed and debated in various political circles. The general view is that (by American standards), liberals are pro-choice and conservatives are pro-life. In America, being liberal is associated with being secular and being conservative is associated with being Christian.

We have no such distinction in the UK. British Conservatives are not lobbying for abortion to be criminalised. It is not heavily debated within British politics, and is generally accepted as a medical procedure on the NHS.

I have retained the same view on abortion for years: keep it safe, legal, and rare. However, I think there is a massive problem in how abortion as an issue is handled, and I think a lot of this has to do with religion.

The pro-choice vs pro-life argument is too simplistic. People who are pro-choice are not necessarily pro-abortion, they just support the right of somebody to decide whether they can have one or not. Pro-life people are not pro-life, they are anti-choice. They think that if a woman becomes pregnant she should give birth to the baby (with a few exceptions in some cases, such as if her life is in danger or she has been raped).

I think that the pro-life position is highly irrational. The pro-choice position, from a feminist perspective, equates abortion with female empowerment. Plenty of non-feminist people are pro-choice, but do not equate abortion with female empowerment.

I find the pro-life position irrational because it prioritises the life of an unborn person over the life of the woman, who may not be in a position to give this person the best chance at life. I find this bizarre. Why would something that doesn’t have thoughts, feelings, memories, and life experiences be dubbed more important than someone who does have all these things?

There is also no accounting for how this affects men. Some women commit paternity fraud, by claiming a man who isn’t the father of their child is the father, forcing him to pay child support. This is deeply concerning.

To compare something that isn’t a fully-formed human to a living, breathing person is absurd. A fetus is not the same as a baby. I have heard arguments asking whether you would murder a newborn baby. A ridiculous comparison. A baby is a living, breathing human. It is not something that is still developing inside someone’s body. Saying a fetus and a baby are not the same thing is just stating a fact, like saying that men and women are biologically different. I don’t see how this is a controversial statement.

If life begins at conception, is masturbation not a form of abortion? That’s a bit tongue-in-cheek, but here’s the thing: why is something that hasn’t yet been born valued more than someone who already exists? And what is with this view that life is some precious, special, sacred thing? Billions of life forms have come and gone on this planet. Many were unremarkable. Humans have done some incredible things and we are full of potential. But equally, many humans just live, go to work, have a family, and then die.

I am not of the view that life has some intrinsic meaning. Life can be full of hell. A lot of people take their own lives every year precisely because of how harrowing life can be. Sometimes it’s too much to deal with.

Having said that, I do not think life is entirely pointless. Life can be full of wonderful moments too, like lying in the sun in the middle of the sea, being free. There can be enjoyable things: food, loved ones, music, film and television, books, beaches, beautiful gardens and parks, animals. Life is neither wholly fantastic nor wholly terrible. Even someone who had the worst possible life can probably find at least one thing they enjoyed, like a meal they once liked.

The problem with this perspective is that religious and spiritual people do not share this view. Pro-lifers are often religious or spiritual, so they believe life is part of some grand spiritual divine purpose. I used to hold this view, and no longer do because of my experiences with psychosis. I actually think this grandiose line of thinking is very dangerous, particularly if drug-induced.

Life is a natural occurrence. Humans reproduce out of a biological need to pass on our genes, raise children, and build communities. We have a hard-wired need for connection with others. There is something nice about having your own family and leaving your biological imprint on the world.

That said, I think pro-life people miss the practical necessity of keeping abortion legal. Millions of females die every year from unsafe abortions. Banning abortion won’t stop abortion, it will stop safe abortion. To ban it entirely is dangerous and illogical. There are married women with five children who may not want a sixth. There are females who are pushed into forced marriages; females who suffer from disabilities or mental illness, females who are in abusive partnerships, females who are raped, females who can’t afford to have a child, females who don’t want to be a single mother. (And as mentioned earlier, men who may not be in a position to pay for or raise a child.)

Not every single woman who has an abortion is irresponsible. For many women, abortion is something they have out of necessity, not because they were “just being irresponsible”.

I understand that many women are irresponsible, and don’t use protection or any form of birth control. Contraception is free in the UK on the NHS and condoms are free for people aged under twenty-five. I’m not entirely sure what excuse a young woman has to be having sex without protection or birth control and then getting pregnant. Women in those situations absolutely bring it on themselves.

But should we really force them to give birth to a child? Isn’t that just worse for the child, being born into an environment of recklessness and irresponsibility? I think the world would be better off if children were born into stable families where they would receive proper emotional and financial care. Every child should be a wanted child. Yes, some pregnancies are unplanned or “accidental”, but these are cases of already-happy couples who accidentally have another baby and are happy with their choice. When I talk about unwanted children, I mean children born to someone who didn’t want a child, or who was not in a stable place.

Mona Charen in Sex Matters discusses at-length how single-parent families are a larger indication of a life of delinquency than other factors. This doesn’t surprise me. I am a strong advocate for stable marriages and families, and I would go as far as to say that single people shouldn’t have children. Of course we can’t police other people’s actions or force people what to do, but having a child alone “because you want one” sounds more selfish to me. Children need two parents. Single parents end up working two jobs: paying the bills and raising a child. Most single parents would say raising children is extremely psychologically demanding and difficult. It helps to have help.

Having said all of this, I do not think abortion is something to celebrate. Really, women should be practicing safe sex. I have heard women say “why should all the pressure be on me?” Because you are the one who will have to carry the child. Take some responsibility! If you are mature enough to have sex, you are mature enough to use protection. It’s really not that hard. Condoms work 80-90% of the time. If that bothers you, use a diaphragm, take the pill, or better yet, get an IUD. Very effective.

(I am aware that there are unfortunate cases where birth control fails or condoms split. Birth control is effective when used properly. This is also why abortion needs to exist, as a safety net.)

I would also like to mention that abortion can have negative impacts on women’s mental health. This study found that women who had an abortion experienced an 81% increased risk in mental health problems. This doesn’t surprise me. It is a terrible thing to grieve the loss of one’s own unborn child. The experience of having an abortion can be psychologically very damaging and horrible for a woman to undergo.

I think the pro-choice vs pro-life argument is flawed and misses a lot of necessary problems around this. Really, we need to teach women to make better decisions and take responsibility for their sexual choices. Older women should be telling young women to think a bit before hopping into bed with a man. But they’re not allowed to because of feminism.

Keeping sex reserved for marriage in the past helped sort out this problem. I’m not saying we should return to that standard, but women should think more carefully about who they sleep with. If a woman wants to be promiscuous, she should take birth control and use protection. Condoms are also the only thing that protects against STDs.

I have definitely made some stupid decisions in my twenties, but I’m very glad pregnancy and abortion wasn’t something I had to deal with. I doubt I would have been able to handle it.

Abortion is not a hallmark of female empowerment. It’s an unfortunate procedure that women should ensure only happens as a last resort. It would be more helpful to look at abortion as a matter of public health, not as a “feminist issue”. There’s no need to bring ideology into this.

Overall, I think banning abortion is far more dangerous than keeping abortion legal, but the conversation around it needs to change. It is currently dominated by feminists and religious zealots. The sensible middle ground is, as always, largely left out of the conversation.

Click here to see a video from my podcast on abortion: